Excerpt from a Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. 
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .
30 comments on Excerpt from a Cat's Diary
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Now I understand my affinity for DAWGS !!!! Cats are just too danged smart !
Don't you know it!
That's the truth! Mine are the rulers of the universe!!!!!!!!!!!!We, their peons!
You KNOW that this is EXACTLY what cats are thinking! You can just see it in their eyes!
Demented little creatures, aren't they?
Great post, Angie! This describes so well every cat I've ever met! Ha! Think I'll still just stick to spiders.
Most definitely, We are too large for the webs!
No more cats after mine kicks the bucket (15 yrs old). I now know why.
Your cat is probably determined to outlive you; I know that my hubby says that these cats will be here long after he is gone!
Now I understand!
From the glint of the demon eyes or the smirk--what gave you the clue?
This is so true.
There's a saying I heard once, can't remember where, but here goes:
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
And that is TRUE! Mine sits at the cabinet where we keep her food and "chirps" at anyone that walks by to get her something to eat. If she doesn't get her moist food and dry food in the bowls at the same time every morning, she walks around the house whining, almost as if she's actually bitching about it LOL She also lets you know if you don't do a good enough job cleaning the litter box. She follows you around until you go back and then she sits there and watches while you clean it, and then INSPECTS it! It's so funny at times that all we do is watch her.
Plus with all the toys we've bought her, she prefers the plastic rings that come off the milk jugs. She plays with these for hours and has them hidden all over the house and if you get near one of them, she jumps in there, picks it up and moves it. Just tooooooo smart!
Wonderful--staff for cats--that's me! My cats are the same way--it must be in the genes! I clean the litter box (when I'm here) after every use. Now they expect it to be *flushed* every time they go.
Hee hee... I've read this one before, but the pictures really add something! Love it.
Oh thank you. I have missed out on so many things that everything is new and wonderful to me. Good thing I added the pictures!
I've read this before but the pictures just make it...LOL
I'm sorry about the repeat. I hadn't seen it before and thought it was hilarious--I keep thinking of my cats. I'm glad that I added the pictures to make a little original.
Good Stuff!
I'm so pleased that you stopped by and were entertained!
I was entertained. Especially by the fact that the cat is conviced that the bird is a spy.
Old tweetie bird probably is a spy--do you remember the cartoons of Slyvester and Tweetie bird?
I love cats!
Me too or did you already know that?
This cracked me up! But I have to admit that my two cats, both rescued from tiny cages in a shelter, seem so content with their calm home with me that I think they have stopped plotting a take-over. Actually, I believe I am a cat whisperer. How I love their company!
Mine are so absolutely sweet to me, but Boo is a holy terror to anyone else. He will make nice just so that he can bite! Macduff will run to hide from strangers. You have to be careful thought; you never know what the little critters are really thinking!
Yes I remember Sylvester and Tweety. I wanted Sylvester to eat Tweety.
Bad, bad puddy tat!
Awesome Post Angie!! I'm loving it..Oh yes cats do own us for sure..Spider will kick up trouble,when I walk into room to see what all that noise was,Lucy,our Lab looks so guilty and Spider looks like shes the Queen,above it all and that Who Me look....
The story was layed out so nice,I enjoyed this..Thank you...
You're welcome, sweetie.